Tuesday, September 28, 2010
New Location
Welcome to the new home of my blog! Check back later for new random memories of my life.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
You Deliver Me
Ever have one of those days when nothing seems to go right? Or weeks? Month? Year?
I'm not saying things have been quite that bad, but they haven't been happy-go-lucky either. The challenges seem to keep piling up around me. The bad news and/or events come in waves; deaths, break-ups, job loss, depression, pride, anger and selfishness - life seems gloomy and then for a moment the sun shines brightly and you remember Who is in control.
I've always seen my faith as simple, I know that God is in control, no need to question that. In highschool I had friends questioning whether God really existed or if He was real, but I don't remember having those same questions. I had watched my parents, sisters and other influential adults respond to despairing situations with such faith and peace that I had no doubt. I'm rarely even tempted to ask the question of "why?" when bad things happen. Seriously its more of a "well why not?" attitude that I take. We were never promised an easy life, in fact, quite the opposite. Hard times help develop not only our character (pruning and helping produce fruit - John 15) but also our faith and trust in Him.
But "Why" isn't the question I find myself asking God. I know that God will use these trials to bring Himself glory. I know that God will answer the cries of my heart. I know that God can restore the broken relationships. I know that God will make all things work together for good, for those who love Him. I know that God will heal the hurting. ---- but HOW?! -- My ultimate question seems to be "Lord, how can this possibly bring You glory? How will You answer this prayer and How will it look?"
While contemplating the lives and hurt around me, I heard a couple share their story of a routine 18week ultrasound of their baby. The ultrasound brought news no parent ever dreams they will hear, yet dread hearing it all the same: an abnormality on her lungs that would make her "incompatible with life". They went through the pregnancy, knowing that, medically speaking, their little girl would never leave the hospital, but praying and believing for a miracle. They prepared for her memorial service, even as they prayed for her healing. The doctors told them, at best, she'd live for a minute and be gasping for air her whole life. Still, they prayed for a miracle. Their precious Audrey arrived in April and lived for about two and a half hours while her family gathered around her singing hymns, praising God for this life, took pictures and lovingly held her.
The most powerful statement I heard this week came from the mother of this precious baby. After sharing the story of their loss, she simply said "He did not heal her the way we wanted Him to, [but] its important for me to say we still believe he could have. That was His choice. That was what brought Him the most glory"
So while I don't understand why, and I still don't have the answers for how, I know that God is at work and He will do what is best, because that is what will bring Him the most glory.
When I feel like, I can't go on
You deliver me, You deliver me
I'm not saying things have been quite that bad, but they haven't been happy-go-lucky either. The challenges seem to keep piling up around me. The bad news and/or events come in waves; deaths, break-ups, job loss, depression, pride, anger and selfishness - life seems gloomy and then for a moment the sun shines brightly and you remember Who is in control.
I've always seen my faith as simple, I know that God is in control, no need to question that. In highschool I had friends questioning whether God really existed or if He was real, but I don't remember having those same questions. I had watched my parents, sisters and other influential adults respond to despairing situations with such faith and peace that I had no doubt. I'm rarely even tempted to ask the question of "why?" when bad things happen. Seriously its more of a "well why not?" attitude that I take. We were never promised an easy life, in fact, quite the opposite. Hard times help develop not only our character (pruning and helping produce fruit - John 15) but also our faith and trust in Him.
But "Why" isn't the question I find myself asking God. I know that God will use these trials to bring Himself glory. I know that God will answer the cries of my heart. I know that God can restore the broken relationships. I know that God will make all things work together for good, for those who love Him. I know that God will heal the hurting. ---- but HOW?! -- My ultimate question seems to be "Lord, how can this possibly bring You glory? How will You answer this prayer and How will it look?"
While contemplating the lives and hurt around me, I heard a couple share their story of a routine 18week ultrasound of their baby. The ultrasound brought news no parent ever dreams they will hear, yet dread hearing it all the same: an abnormality on her lungs that would make her "incompatible with life". They went through the pregnancy, knowing that, medically speaking, their little girl would never leave the hospital, but praying and believing for a miracle. They prepared for her memorial service, even as they prayed for her healing. The doctors told them, at best, she'd live for a minute and be gasping for air her whole life. Still, they prayed for a miracle. Their precious Audrey arrived in April and lived for about two and a half hours while her family gathered around her singing hymns, praising God for this life, took pictures and lovingly held her.
The most powerful statement I heard this week came from the mother of this precious baby. After sharing the story of their loss, she simply said "He did not heal her the way we wanted Him to, [but] its important for me to say we still believe he could have. That was His choice. That was what brought Him the most glory"
So while I don't understand why, and I still don't have the answers for how, I know that God is at work and He will do what is best, because that is what will bring Him the most glory.
When I feel like, I can't go on
You deliver me, You deliver me
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