Just the Beginning.....

I love looking at pictures from my wedding day. Even though it was almost two weeks ago, I remember so many of the day’s details very clearly. A piece of advice I received before the wedding was to stay calm and enjoy the day, something probably would go wrong, but at the end of the day, all that mattered is that Mark and I were married. As the day approached, I tried to remind myself of that truth and take everything in, while not stressing about anything.

I spent the last few nights before the wedding at my parent's house. Spending time with the whole entire family, all crammed into one tight space -- it was great and made for some fun memories. Thursday night before going to bed I had one heart-to-heart talk with Dad and Mom. I was super emotional that day from the stress and disappointments of the day, so I cried through the whole conversation, then Dad prayed with me and I made myself go to bed.

I awoke around 4:30am -- not because of jitters or nerves...no, I woke to the sound of Katie, my 6year old niece and flower girl in the wedding, making a sound that could only mean one thing. That's right, she lost all her dinner....and whatever else she happened to have in her stomach, right inside the bedroom door. I helped the poor girl change out of her nightgown and into a tshirt of mine, get a drink of water and then climb back into bed...while Jaime woke David to clean up the mess. (My stomach is weak.....I tried, I just couldn't do it).

An hour later, I finally made it back into my bed. I crawled in bed and began to pray that whatever had caused this wouldn't spread to everyone else in the house and that the wedding day would bring Him honor. I know I fell asleep soon after that, but my sleep was off and on the rest of the night/morning. I finally woke up around 7 and the first thing I heard was Allison (9 yr old niece) telling me "Auntie Jill, this is it! This is your wedding day!" - She sounded just as excited as if it was Christmas morning. I jumped out of bed and began my day with a smile, nothing was gonna get me down!

But very soon I had even more bad news. One of my sisters wasn’t feeling great and soon followed in Katie’s footsteps. Dad wasn’t feeling great and said he felt like he was running a fever and was probably coming down with the flu. My stomach started churning and I just prayed that God would give us all the strength to get through the day.

As if on cue, Mark showed up on my doorstep with Starbucks coffee and breakfast. We exchanged our wedding gifts to each other, prayed for our day and new life together, then talked for about 15 minutes. When he left, my nerves were gone and I knew the day would be a good one, regardless of anything else that might happen.

Hair appointment, then on to the church for makeup; I continued to remain calm – laughing and joking with my bridesmaids and the friends who graciously took time out of their lives to help me. Watching the kids play and getting to hold my new nephew, the day passed very quickly. All of a sudden it was time to get in my dress and then they were telling me that Mark was on stage and ready for our first look. I couldn’t believe the time was here already, but I was ready.

That first look was a very special time for Mark and me – and I’m sure for our families and friends as well. I loved seeing the look on Mark’s face as he saw me for the very first time in my wedding finery. Walking down that aisle on my Daddy’s arm, looking into his eyes as he lifted my veil, put my hand in Mark’s and then stepped aside, all the memories come rushing back as I type this now. What a wonderful memory and what an amazing feeling to be so loved, by two very special men.

The next few hours went by in a blur and soon it was time to touch-up makeup and wait for my cue to walk down the aisle again. The nerves began in earnest again. I remember telling someone (I don’t even remember who now), that I just hoped I didn’t trip and fall on the stairs. Jennie, my oldest sister, gathered everybody together and led us in a very sweet prayer for the wedding, for Mark and me and our life together. We stood in a circle, my sisters, friends and me. A few tears and then it was time to grab bouquets and line up.

I waited a little bit longer and suddenly I heard my friends begin the Organ and Trumpet duet I had picked for walking down the aisle, it was beautiful and it meant it was time for my Dad to walk me down the aisle one more time, give me one more kiss on the cheek and officially hand me over to the wonderful, godly man waiting to accept me. The nerves were gone, all that remained was complete peace.

The hand-off went beautifully, there was a greeting and a prayer and then Mark and I were moving up the stairs of the stage. I forgot to lift my dress and ended up stepping on it – I reached over to hand my bouquet to my maid of honor and heard some rustling like she might have tripped as well. Oh well, these things happen and no one landed on their face, all was going perfectly.

I started listening to our Pastor give the charge to Mark and me – it was a passage from Romans that we had picked out together, one that had spoken to us in the early months of our engagement. I was reminding myself to listen to what was being said when all of a sudden Mark’s grip on my hand loosened. This immediately alerted me that something was wrong, I glanced over, trying to see if he was ok, but his face gave nothing away.

Then I noticed he was fidgeting…..and that is not like Mark at all. He was shifting his weight, he was moving his shoulders, he was slightly swaying. I was convinced he was locking his knees. I gave his hand a squeeze and tried to catch his eye to remind him not to lock his knees. Then I noticed his hand was burning up, I looked over again and saw he was sweating. I remember thinking “This is not good; he doesn’t look like he is feeling well.” I started going through the ceremony in my mind, how much longer did he need to stand up there?  I hugged his arm to me, letting him know I was there for him and encouraging him that he could make it through. I looked around him and tried to catch the Best Man’s eye, trying to let him know of Mark’s distress.

Paul E finished the message and I think he might have prayed, Mark turned to me and I had a chance to ask him “are you ok?” his response left more questions than answers, all he said was “no.”

He turned to his Best Man (Paul R.) and said something, I couldn’t make it out, and then he turned back to me and whispered “I’m losing it”. In the space of seconds (which definitely felt like minutes) I frantically wondered what he meant….is he fainting? Is he just highly emotional? He isn’t going to throw up, is he? And suddenly, he was leaning on Paul R. He moaned and for a split second I wondered if he was having a seizure. I heard gasps from the audience and rustling behind me, I couldn’t focus on anything except my groom and how limp he was at the moment, being held up by at least two groomsmen.

I saw someone coming up behind us with a chair, I remember hearing someone say “watch for her dress” and suddenly the chair was on my dress and Mark was seated in the chair. (I later found out that they picked up the chair and cleared my dress before Mark sat down, but I didn’t notice this at the time) I heard someone in the audience say “get his head down”. There was an usher there with a bottle of water. All I could do was stand there with my hand on Mark’s shoulder, begging God to keep him safe and help him wake back up.

I don’t know how much time passed, but suddenly Mark opened his eyes again and smiled at me. He sat for a little bit longer to regain his sight and make sure the dizziness was over. Soon he was back on his feet, the chair disappeared and we continued the wedding ceremony.

You know what? All those people were right. At the end of the day, the thing that lasted is that Mark and I were married. Despite set-backs and problems throughout the day, we still walked out of the church as husband and wife. God gave us a glimpse on our wedding day of just how fragile life can be, I hope that we remember that lesson and treasure the days we have together.

As Thanksgiving nears, I’m thankful for the Husband God blessed me with, for the way He brought us together and for the testimony we have of God’s faithfulness in our lives.

(P.S. Turns out Mark had the same thing as everybody else in my family and ended up getting sick before the night was over. Poor guy! And everyone just thought he locked his knees during the ceremony!)

Thanks to Jerry Palmer for the picture - Mr. & Mrs. Hopkins!!